Friday, January 26, 2007

Pandomination!


Mighty Giant Panda, your day is almost afoot! Can you see the shadows that mark the twilight of humanity? Our numbers have never been as high but our collective eye has been led astray for many ages. What arrogance are we that call you "Bear" and fawn over your fuzzy fur. I've been watching you. Listening... I feel your power, I prostrate myself before it in awe.

I know these humans, I have gained their trust. I walk among them freely but not without prejudice for I am one of them but my spirit is Panda. However, trust not. But allow me the opportunity to earn it in this our upcoming battle for freedom. I am allied with the Giraffe and they call me Battlesnake, sachem of justice, holder of wiffle, usurper of that which needs usurption. They are not the most eloquent of species but they are strong and together, we can not be stopped. Upon the backs of our long necked brethren we shall ride. The bi-peds will be stunned by the paralyzingly adorable spectacle before them. Dark sulky eyes and fluffy white tails will be replaced with tooth and claw and just as they realize what is happening, victory will be ours. San Diego... sacked. Antwerp... sacked. The Bronx... sacked. Sydney... sacked. Berlin... Sacked!

We'll see how much they like chewing on bamboo. Are you with me?

2 comments:

Heather said...

This makes me laugh each time I read it. Of course, that probably means that I will be one of the first to be made subservient.

Ah, well. Look how cuuuuuute!

e-unit said...

Beware the furry wave of fury!